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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Mrs. Fanny Dashwood Defends Herself, from Melissa

Mrs. Fanny Dashwood defends herself
By Melissa
      Hm Hm… There seems to be some sort of mistake going on. I’ve been told that I am the best villainess and that could not possibly be correct. I am no villainess. If anything I am the reason everything happened to the Dashwood girls. Everyone should be thanking me since there without me there would be no story called “Sense and Sensibility”. Let me explain for those of you with limited brain compactly to believe that, I Fanny Dashwood, am sort of heartless creature instead of the unsung heroine that I am.
    You see I arrived at Norland Park immediately after Mr. Dashwood’s father died because I knew the Dashwood ladies would be stricken with grief. It would only seem natural then that I would take over the handling of the household since they were unable to do so.  Immediately after arriving there I noticed that house in such a shabby state of disrepair.  I decided to brighten it up by renovating the place. I am such a kind soul am I not. Course the Dashwood women could not understand that. They thought I was taking over. Getting such worked up over things. Like wanting to make the library into a drawing room.  I was thinking of donating all of those books to the local orphanage in my Henry’s name. That would save them having to buy books of their own. How very generous and green my thoughts were.  The ladies did not see things that way though.
   Then of course people always get such worked up over me wishing the ladies to have only five hundred pounds a year.  Does anyone ever stop to think that if I had granted them a higher number then they would have never moved into the cottage owned by Mary’s cousin.  Would Marianne have ever met Colonial Brandon or Wallaby, Willyabby, or whatever that man was called. No she wouldn’t.  Would Elinor have met Miss. Steel. No. Nor would they have gotten a chance to go to Bath with that vulgar Mrs. Jennings. It’s all thanks to me. Plus I was truly looking after their best interests. I mean I lessen their chances of getting salmonella poisoning or teeth rot by limiting their consumption of meat and sugar. Not that my household have to worry about that. We have the very best chef in England and my family has had perfect teeth for generations.
   People also forget that I am the reason Elinor met my brother in the first place. I invited him to Norland Park. My invitation. Not anyone-else’s. Course everyone forgets that.  I’m the villainess aren’t I. No-one stops to see how generous and kind I was the whole story. Nor sees I’m reason everything took place.  Well who’s the villainess now...
Well TaTa everyone.

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