Dear Jane Austen,
Thanks a lot. You have set the bar impossibly high for us 21st century guys. My wife keeps gushing about, “Oh, Captain Wentworth’s letter. It’s so romantic. Why don’t you write me a letter like that?” She’s even writing him a love letter! How is a regular guy supposed to compete? She tells me, “You’re un Cubano. You guys have romantic souls. You all say so. Just follow Wentworth’s template.” Yeah, right. You’re a woman! You know what women want to hear! I think I do pretty well, but, “You pierce my soul?” C’mon! I don’t stand a chance. So thanks for everything, Jane. My wife will always be disappointed that she didn’t get that grand, romantic letter from me and it’s all your fault.
A disgruntled husband
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