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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

September Zombies Z v. U: TEAM UNICORN!! (+ GIVEAWAY!)

You may have heard of the book.  You may have had hours-long discussions with your "friends" (<-- voices in your head) about it.  You may not have a clue what I'm talking about.  But I'm here to tell you why, in the epic battle that is to come, you should side with UNICORNS over zombies:

Speed and Mobility:
Zombies: Slow shambling, generally.
Unicorns: ranges from gently paced to lightning fast, occasional flying.
Point: Unicorns
Feeding of:
Zombies: difficult to find reliable source of fresh human flesh.
Unicorns: difficult to find reliable source of rainbows.
Point: Neither
Noise Level:
Zombies: near constant moaning, calls for braaaains!
Unicorns: occasional whinnies, chime-like tinkling when the wind blows around the horn.
Point: Unicorns
Zombies: none.
Unicorns: strict sense of rightness, good and evil; not above killing the impure and evil-minded.
Point: dubious point to Unicorns
Zombies: Well...
Unicorns: Glorious.  Who's a pretty unicorn?  Who'saprettyunicorn?  You are, yes you are!
Point: Unicorns
Smells like:
Zombies: putrefaction
Unicorns: horses and cupcakes
Point: Unicorns
Tastes like: 
Zombies: putrefaction 
Unicorns: horses and cupcakes
Point: Unicorns
Modus Operandi:
Zombies: rending flesh by whatever means necessary, general gnawing and chewing
Unicorns: impalement.
Point: Both 
Zombie: if controlled, can be useful as exacter of revenge.  As a means of locomotion: ineffective; Riders of zombies, may end up gnawed on and covered in gore (theirs and its)
Unicorns: Generally just for looks, though will protect the pure of heart and body.  As a means of locomotion: effective, if willing.  Riders may end up smelling of horse and covered in sparkles.
Point: Both, different skill sets
Ability to inflict terror:
Zombies: Total
Unicorns: Minimal; the horn, for all of it's pointy, just doesn't seem to bother people.  Until they're on the end of it.
Point: Zombies
Grand Tally: Unicorns: 8,    Zombies: 3

Doesn't that say it all?  No?  Unicorns are too cute and cuddly to take seriously, you say?  Hello?  They have a huge frakking horn on their heads.  Unicorns are notoriously crafty creatures.  Intelligent, elusive, gentle to some, but ultimately deadly.  The zombies you at least hear (moaning) and smell (obvious) coming; the unicorns may buddy up to you before they rip you to shreds.  Not that they will.  Team Unicorn does not advocate that.  We're just saying.

Still not convinced?  Well maybe this will make up your mind:

Vote for Team Unicorn to enter to win my Zombies and Unicorns Grab Bag!  The contents are a mystery, but I will give you two clues:
1: It's full of awesome!
b) It will include a super-neato official Zombies vs. Unicorns button! --->

To enter, fill out the form and leave a comment with your vote, zombies or unicorns.  And why not grab the Team Unicorn Badge while you're at it?  For extra chances to win, go weigh in at vvb32 reads and Fishmuffins of Doom.
And please note, those ladies will be having giveaways of their own, and Velvet will be keeping track of commenters in her Z v. U Challenge; click on the Team Unicorn Badge to go to Velvet's page and find out how you can pick a side and enter the awesome...

<-- click me!

This giveaway runs through September.  International.  Good luck!

Weigh in at the other zombiettes blogs too to up your chances of winning vvb's comment contest; you especially may want to cast your vote at The Epic Rat, as she's having a giveaway of her own; but hurry, her's ends Sept 7th!

*Feel free to vote according to your own personal stance on, ahem, "fictional" beings; voting unicorn won't garner you better chances to win, but it will mean you won't end up at the uncomfortable end of my personal unicorn pride's horns...


  1. There will only be glitter left after the zombies are finished with the sparkly horses!

  2. Team Unicorn all the way! Because unicorns don't stink! :P And then I love horses.

  3. Go team Unicorns! Hope we end up all covered in sparkly glitter... :D

  4. Unicorns Rule !

    Zombies are so yesterday ! (literaly)

  5. Awesome post! But sadly I'm still 100% Team Zombie f(O_o)f

  6. Team Unicorn! Because if they were a Pokemon card, they'd totally win.

  7. I'm definitely Team Unicorn. I have 3 kids. I'm Pro anything that doesn't make a mess. Zombies seem stinky and messy droping bits of flesh and muck everywhere. Unicorns I'm sure are house trained.

  8. I would still pick zombies over unicorns. I have a feeling zombies would eat unicorns.

  9. Go unicorns, but don't tell the zombies, I like them,too.

  10. Team Unicorn!Seriously, who wants a brain-eater to be their pal instead of the lovely Unicorn?

    OOppss..!Sorry team Zombie!

  11. I'm going to have to go with team zombie! tWarner419@aol.com

  12. I agree. Team Unicorn! Zombies are cool and stuff...but, well, they're smelly and ugly. Lol. Bring on the cupcake-eating unicorns!

  13. I am *all* over unicorns for a variety of reasons -- so Team Unicorn huzzah!

    I'm particularly grateful for this contest because I found you -- you're doing a dystopian reading challenge?! Be still my heart. :)

  14. Team Unicorn! Can't stand zombies.

  15. my zombies will eat your unicorns xD

  16. I think zombies are super easy to feed because of the few billion people that live all over the world. :) Great comparison!

  17. You are officially hilarious! That was soo cool! I'm with you, unicorns are awesome!

  18. I'm not entering but cheering from the sidelines!
    Go Team Unicorn!

  19. Team Zombie for me . . . no frilly unicorns . . .

  20. Come on!
    A pony with a jacket hanger on their forehead?
    How is that even funny?
    If you stick a towel on his forehead he won't see you anymore and you just defeated him!

    Unicorns = 0 points!

    PS - Nice post, but zombies will now eat your brain for that!

  21. Team Unicorn all the way...what it all comes down to for me is...which one would I rather have in my backyard?

  22. i better think again before having a cupcake? what am i eating???

  23. But but Team Zombie has so much to offer! An awesome life-saving benefit package, a close knit community of fellows who share your enthusiasm and more movies than you can shake a stick at!


  24. So sad to see so many people are deluded by those manipulative goats.

  25. Unicorns may be cuddly,but zombies kick butt. Plus, if you ever need help fighting your enemies which would you choose? Cute uncicorns or brain-eating zombies.

  26. Mary D

    Seriously funny post, I loved it, as well as you made so many good points in favor of Unicorns over Zombies that I have suddenly been converted to abandon Team Zombie in favor of Team Unicorn...

    MWHA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    But you did have me laughing my guts up (zombies have delicate tummies)!

  27. Team Zombie! Why, because they have best teamwork skill

  28. team unicorn!

    because who wants ugly, smelly zombies over pretty, clean unicorns!?

  29. unicorns areeee pertttyyy

    lauren51990 at aol dot com

  30. I'm still floored--floored, I say!--that there's even a question of which is better! I mean, come on! Who wants to be covered in glitter all the time? And where's the adventure--aside from the stories they may tell about how they got tattood on the rump (spring break for unicorns?). Give me gore! Give me brains! Go Team Zombie! (I wouldn't snub a cupcake, though. Do unicorns advocate sharing?)

  31. team zombie all the way! sorry, i've always been a horror girl....

    k_sunshine1977 at yahoo dot com

  32. Unicorns forever.

    FOREVER (because they don't rot either).

  33. How could I not be team Unicorn?

  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

  35. Unicorn all the way! I laughed out loud at your comment on zombies appearance.

  36. First let me just say, LOVE your blog header pic :)

    Next, new follower here, love your sense of humor.

    Third, You made a very compelling argument, and other than #2 (I think Zombies would get that point... Fresh Human Flesh is actually pretty easy for them to find... at first, at least... although you could argue this for Unicorns too... eventually Human Flesh will run out... rainbows go on forever XD )

    Anyhow, I'm team Unicorn.
    And no... no... my current reading of the new The Last Unicorn comic does NOT have any effect on my choice... (sooooo pretty!!!)

  37. Team Unicorn.

    Although I've been aware of unicorns for a long time now I first came across one briefly in a Harry Potter book. I only recently, the beginning of this year, got to know them a little and became attached in Many Waters, the fourth book of Madeleine L'Engle's Time series.

  38. Yay! Go Team Unicorn! Even if I am team unicorn for totally different reasons than you (and would never even want to THINK about a unicorn KILLING someone - I mean, it's the unthinkable), at least we're on the same side! And that's totally what matters!


  39. Go team unicorn! This is a great post!

  40. Zombies!!!!

    The morbid side of me just can't help it:-)

  41. Okay. I'm Team Zombie.
    You made valid points, but all it's got going for it is the frakking horn on its head. and I can do that with a Pinto and some superglue.

  42. I am totally Team Unicorn!!!! :) I <3 your reasons. They go right along with mine... :)


  43. Team Zombie has to win because they would eat Team Unicorn. Sorry, just the facts!


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