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Thursday, September 2, 2010

A *brighter* Spotlight On: Zombies!

I posted this last year because forewarned is forearmed -- but sadly, many lives were still lost to the zombie menace.  Which meant a larger zombie menace, which is just irresponsible, people.
So I thought it could do with some reposting.
This time, I better see some pencils out.  Maybe in the process of being sharpened for use as weapons.
Work with me, people!
So, zombies...

Zom-bie: [zom-bee] (n)
1. (in voodoo)
a. the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.
b. the supernatural force itself.
2. Informal.
a. a person whose behavior or responses are wooden, listless, or seemingly rote; automaton.
b. an eccentric or peculiar person.
3. a snake god worshiped in West Indian and Brazilian religious practices of African origin.
4. a tall drink made typically with several kinds of rum, citrus juice, and often apricot liqueur.
5. Canadian Slang. an army conscript assigned to home defense during World War II.

^hmmm?^

from Wikipedia

There are several possible etymologies of the word zombie. One possible origin is jumbie, the West Indian term for "ghost".[2] Another is nzambi, the Kongo word meaning "spirit of a dead person."[2] According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word entered English circa 1871 and is derived from the Louisiana Creole or Haitian Creole zonbi, which in turn is of Bantu[3] A zonbi is a person who is believed to have died and been brought back to life without speech or free will.[4] It is akin to the Kimbundu nzúmbe ghost. origin.

Sources seem to agree that the Zombie Apocalypse is coming; it's only a matter of time.  Preparedness, therefore, is not an option, but a necessity.  Thankfully, the folks over at the Zombie Preparedness Initiative have sussed out all of the particulars of the Zompocalypse to help give you the leg up in defeating hordes of the ravenous undead.  If you are unsure how to make a fire or bow and arrow, or you just want to brush up on your survival techniques and hand-to-necrotized-flesh combat skills, I would suggest you go check out their site.


Also, remember that knowledge is power.  Staying informed on the latest outbreaks, weapons, cure developments (if any), etc may just save your neck -- and the juicy juicy brain attached to it.

It is crucial to know that you can recognize a zombie when you see one.  Now, I want you all to make it through the end of the world intact (and I want to save you the embarrassment of having your brains eaten by a former friend -- because, boy, wouldn't your face be red then!).  So please, watch this brief informative video and learn to recognize the signs...





Do you know your odds of survival?  Sadly, oftentimes they are drastically lower than we expect.  You cannot get complacent about the zombie menace, people!  Find out if you're at risk, and then do something about it.  I myself had a scare when I found out that I have only a 37% likelihood of survival.  I was despondent for awhile, but giving up is not the answer -- especially as that means becoming an undead dreadful yourself and adding to the problem.
So I went out and enrolled in intensive martial arts training, started canning food, and am looking into buying a house on a high hill with optional bomb shelter.

37%



But there are always those unfortunates who don't make it.  If you are afraid you will be one of those, er, people, then at least find out what kind of zombie you are most likely to become, that way your loved ones can better prepare themselves and learn how best to dispose of you.



You may want to check out:

Famous Zombies:


Best Friend Zombie (Ed)

Dead               Resident Evil Zombie

Pop Zombie (MJ)


Now, I hope you've been paying attention, because there's one right behind yo--
Damn.  Well, maybe next year you'll learn...


----------------
Now playing: Nellie McKay - Zombie
via FoxyTunes

4 comments:

  1. XD Its really great of you to try and save folks--its so sad that people can't keep themselves better armed. I mean a machete goes a long way to saving yourself...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fun post! I just discovered that I have a 46% chance of survival! Yay for me, but I'll probably still die...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have a 64% chance of survival! Maybe if I learn how to use a gun and run faster I will do better! :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awesome post! I really like the different definitions you found. I kind of want to try the zombie drink. :)

    I responded to your comment on my PSA with a post: http://titania86-fishmuffins.blogspot.com/2010/09/my-take-on-zombies-vs-unicorns-part-ii.html

    ReplyDelete

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