Today we have a very special guest who agreed to do a little interview with us. He took time out of his busy holiday schedule to set up a little Skype session for us, which I then painstakingly transcribed for you. He's a little tired from all of his early morning deliveries, so he may be a little cranky; you'll have to bear with him...
Book Rat: So, Mr. Bunny. How'd you get into the egg delivery business? Seems an odd job choice for a rabbit.
Easter Bunny: I grew up on a farm, and the girl next pen was this gorgeous little number, a real hot chick, ya know? Anyway, it was her idea. Let's just say we were a little indiscreet and we had to do something with all of the eggs...
BR: Oh. Oh, my. And are you and she still --
EB: I don't want to talk about Gertie.
BR: Okay. Well, you're quite famous now; have any of the eggs ever tracked you down looking for a l'egg up into the business? (chuckles)
EB: No. (looks shifty)
EB: No! (disappears from monitor view for a moment) Moving on...
BR. Okay. Moving on. You had a little "incident" with some lawmen in Texas a few years ago. Care to clear the air on that?
EB: What? You've never egged a house before?
BR: Well, actually, no, I haven't. But what prompted this particular egging?
EB: They got a lotta farms out that way. Lotta chicks. Turned out one chick had a rooster back in the coop...things got a little outta hand, that's all. Look, a few years is lifetimes ago, okay? Can't we talk about something pleasant? (crunches carrot thoughtfully)
BR: Sure. Let's talk about your blossoming singing career.
EB: (leans toward webcam, so all BR sees are fervent beady black eyes) Yeah! I mean, on the farm, we sang all the time, but when this whole Easter gig started, I kinda let that fall by the wayside. But now, with the commercial and all, things are really getting back on track. I'm an artist, ya know? I mean, I paint all those damn little eggs, and nobody ever says a thing about the artistry that goes into them! With the singing, at least I can get the recognition I deserve, ya know? I'm in talks right now to do a mentor week on American Idol, and maybe a guest spot on Glee. Sky's the limit, baby, high as I can hop! I'll finally get the credit I deserve. Look at me now, Gertie! Look at me now!
I'd like to thank the Easter Bunny for taking time out to chat with us today. Enjoy your easter, everybody!!!
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