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Thursday, August 1, 2019

The Menfolk Watch Sense & Sensibility — guest post from Leigh Dreyer!

One of my favorite posts from Austen In Augusts-past is Leigh Dreyer's riotously funny transcription of her making the men in her life sit down and watch Pride & Prejudice. This year, she's putting the dainty Regency screws to 'em again by plonking them down in front of 1995's Sense & Sensibility. Titanic references abound.

The Menfolk Watch S&S

In celebration of Austen in August, I made my pilot husband (A) and seventeen-year-old teenage brother (C) watch the 1995 Sense and Sensibility and wrote down the things they said. I am L (for Leigh) and did occasionally clarify some comments for these two so they weren’t too confused. These are the un-edited nuggets of male wit and wisdom. I hope you laugh as much reading them as much as I did listening to and writing them! I edited a bit for clarity, but for the most part, these are written exactly as they were spoken. (Also, I just wanted to point out that the only one who knew Alan Rickman’s character name from Die Hard was me…the sole woman in the room, so Girl Power!)
Image result for sense and sensibility, sense and sensibility, jane austen, leigh dreyer, austen in august, The Book Rat, Book Rat Misty

A: I guess we’re going to have to do this thing. C, have you ever seen Sense and Sensibility? Also known as S&S?
C: I didn’t know it was an acronym
A: I was tortured growing up by my sisters. If you cry, that’s ok. Ready to start?
A: Oh, that’s a pretty lady with a flashlight
C: A torch?
A: Yeah, a torch. Better. Good music
C: Yeah. Oooo an Ang Lee film.
A: I believe it is pronounced Ahng…
C: Oh Alan Rickman, we do have Snape in the film! We were just talking about him!
A: Can you type a little quieter? I can barely hear!

C: Who’s that guy in the bed? What else is he in?
A: Gilmore girls?
A: Is he mouthing a line? The guy leaning over the bed? He’s like mouthing a line with the guy
C: I must promise you this, not like you’re going to be dead in 10 minutes
A: Oh yeah, he won’t know anything.
C: Where’s the guy that was dying on the bed?
C: Nice vest.
Image result for sense and sensibility 1992

A: So snobbish women had little puppies back then, huh?
C: That dog looks like it’s in pain and uncomfortable.
A: I wish they would speak normal English; I don’t know what’s going on.
Image result for sense and sensibility hugh grant

C: Oh Kate Winslet! Like Titanic! My Heart will go on!
A: Paint me like one of your French Women Jack
C: And that lady who’s in a lot of stuff. Isn’t she Nanny McPhee? Not Kate Winslet, the other one.
A: I really don’t know what’s going on.
[I explain]
A: So he’s kicking his mom out and his sisters?
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C: The rope ladder, she pulled it up. Hilarious
A: Why didn’t the dad just write his family into the will.
C: Things were different back then.
A: And now he’s having dinner with them? What a punk. I hope he gets run over by a horse.
C: Are Kate Winslet and Nanny McPhee sisters? Aren’t they like 20 years apart?
A: That’s his wife? She seems a little old for his age.
C: Did she say Plymouth? Like America Plymouth or British Plymouth?
A: That’s got to be messed up…raise your family and then death of your husband, whoop 180.
A: Good conversation
C: Passive-Aggression is going well. Everyone is quiet and mean. Now the husband has a look of fear in his eye.
A: Sheep!
C: Why would you charge through the sheep? Oh, and look there’s fog.
A: I believe the appropriate response is to say jinx afterwards
A: Can you imagine being the maid that has to clean those pictures like on a 20-foot wall? No, thank you.
C: A book in a map! Map in a book!
A: It’s a gremlin!
C: That’s a kid hiding.
A: Wow…500 a year…
A: So which girl do you think he’s [Hugh Grant] going to get?
C: I think he’s going to go for the younger one.
A: I’m going for the older sister.
C: His pants are not flattering because of the weird side buttons. They seem warped
A: I never really understood that whole King Henry lets show our package, but not how our package, but show our package look. But that’s what the ladies wanted….
C: I think that’s what the guys wanted. It’s a public measuring contest.
A: When you say the younger one, do you mean THAT younger one (Margaret)
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C: Oh, a letter! Dear Dad, I know you’re dead. What’s her face is playing with a sword, it could be a renaissance festival.
A: And let’s play right under the window where no one…I mean everyone can see us.
A: That was a good stab.
A: You know that never happens in real life. When that really happens, girls just think we’re trying too hard.
C: Those pants are more flattering than the other ones, I don’t like the coat though.
A: He’s definitely digging the older sister.
C: This is called…being creepy.
C: This is where you pull out the handkerchief like you’re supposed to. Look, she’s got it.
A: I wonder how many handkerchiefs women hold on to, do they have like a scrap book of “John Doe gave this to me on the street” Did they have sleep overs and compare handkerchiefs?
C: [high voice] I got this from Prince William at the post office
A: And they have a handkerchief burn night for their bachelorette party
C: I wish they still had boots like that. They’re so nice
A: They do—girls wear them. What are you telling me?
C: They’re nice!
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C: Who’s that random guy in the background?
A: I’m on a horse…Old Spice
C: That hat makes me think of like Quakers
A: I could see that.
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C: Ugh. Poetry.
A: I know. It’s almost as bad as chick flicks
C: She is having none of it. You suck at reading poetry, you’re terrible at it.
A: You call yourself an actor?
C: It must be cool as an actor to try and be bad at acting. Be an 18th century noble who’s bad at acting.
A: He’s changing clothes quite a bit, but I just realized it’s a new day.
A: Amiable…what a great word
C: Which one? Sedate
A: No amiable.
A: They all died! Congratulations. To live for love is much more glorious than dying for it.
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C: Period movies are written like a period play. They never talk like normal people.
C: What’s with the bows in her hair? Is it like those curling things?
A: I guess it makes sense. That way she only has to bathe once a month whether she needs it or not.
C: She has two candles burning? Such a waste. She only gets 500 pounds a month and she burns all the candles at once
L: 500 pounds a year
C: that’s even worse! She’s just burning all the candles! Who has the money for this?
A: He’s in the friend zone!
C: He’s not in the friend zone, she just doesn’t want to admit her feelings.
A: They’re talking about it right now, she said she likes him. That’s the friend zone.
C: See? She’s making fun of her too. She knows that she likes him.
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A: Don’t say anything stupid mom
C: She’s going to say something stupid. The moms in these are always the worst ones. They’re like “Oh, I’m going to meddle” and then they ruin the whole thing. They never do anything good.
C: Love was worthless in 18th century society? 19th century society? Whatever, it didn’t matter until the 1900s.
A: See, stupid mom that’s why you don’t say anything! Mom went in there to try and gloat.
[The Dashwoods and Edward are all at a family dinner]
A: The son finally speaks!
C: He looks like a little boy. The hair makes me think of someone in the 18th century with a blonde curly wig.
C: Ooo fish.
C: The rest of your family isn’t welcome. He’s a relative of the relative they hate.
A: Aha! He knew it was a bad joke.
C: The guys in all these movies are always the same. They’re always charming in the beginning. Then somewhere towards the middle, they lose all sense of charm and just become idiots and start making jokes like that
A: Reminds me of Dumb and Dumber, before you do anything dumber, you go and do something like this and totally redeem yourself!
A: he does not like eye contact. He’s a millennial before his time.
C: She is just staring him down and he is staring at the floor.
A: Aw.
A: That’s got to suck to be that horse to trot like that all the way to London. Can I just walk?
C: He’s not going to show up in a fortnight. He’s not going to show up for like 6 months. It’s called foreshadowing.
Image result for sense and sensibility barton cottage

A: Oh wow.
C: Is that? I thought it was Mr. Dursley’s sister from Harry Potter.
A: The old lady reminds me of Mrs. Potts
C: They definitely don’t have a gardener. Oh look, books in crates. This is a very depressing house.
A: Whoever laid those walking stones did not do a good job.
C: Its apparently very cold.
A: Pretty land. They must be near the ocean.
A: There’s your bath.
C: Why is it so cold? England is like 5 miles long. How is the weather so different from where they were?
C: They’re not creepy at all. [high voice] “You can’t keep your secrets!”
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C: His name is Fuzzy McFugal!
A: Frederick! Freddy!
A: Good job little sis!
C: That’s a nice house.
A: That’s a nice horse.
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C: Alan Rickman!
A: It’s Snape! Oh, and what’s his name off of Die Hard!
C: Or Sweeny Todd creepy Alan Rickman
A: What’s his name in Die Hard?
C: I haven’t seen it.
A: You’re missing out. One of the best Christmas movies.
C: He has like half open lips.
A: So, we have old dude digging on the younger sister and younger dude digging on the older sister.
C: Isn’t that always how it goes though?
A: I’m pretty sure it’s half your age plus seven
A: Oo he’s a colonel!
C: I can assure you there are better fellows in the world.
C: Man. He is real creepy.
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A: They’re so clever. HA!
C: Alan Rickman is like “I don’t get the joke.”
C: Man. That little sister is telling on everybody.
[Interjection from Misty: This is why Margaret is The Best.]
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C: What are they harvesting? What is that?
A: Because a woman can’t break straw. Oh, that’s how you use a knife? How clever. I hate you now.
A: Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match!
C: At least Alan Rickman knows he’s creepy.
A: I think it’s Snape.
C: He doesn’t do voices. All of his characters have the same voice. That monotone Alan Rickman voice…
L: Hans Grubler!
A: Yes!!!! Hans!!!! That’s his name in Die Hard! Thank you!
Image result for sense and sensibility alan rickman

A: Oh, she bowls as well as my wife!
Image result for sense and sensibility mrs jennings

A: They just have a leg of a cow on the table!
C: Yeh! Right! It’s huge!
A: It’s just out in the sun and everything! No wonder so many people get diseases and die. It’s not real though—there aren’t any flies around it.
A: That was sly! Didn’t hit a snag, just right on beat.
C: It’s nice that they both know that a duet shouldn’t happen.
A: Just take your hat off and undo your own knot
C: How do you put on a bonnet and then not know how to untie it
A: Yes!
C: It’s a big old book.
C: He just said why he couldn’t come. Get over it. The youngest never understand anything. They’re always dumb in these things. “Why didn’t they keep their word.” Cause things happen!
A: Do you feel that way sometimes, since you’re toward he youngest?
C: They’re so full of wrath.
A: If she doesn’t have enough money to buy a bowl of sugar, what does that mean for all the servants helping them?
C: If she doesn’t have enough sugar, why is she burning three candles at a time!
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C: It’s about to rain, why are they walking?
A: Cause damsels in distress
C: They’re going to get hit by lightning. Oh! It actually is raining.
A: Twisted her ankle.
C: No, she broke her leg in three places
A: Oh look, I just always go for a ride in the rain.
C: he’s been following them! He’s totally creepy.
A: I thought he was going run them over with the horse.
A: Who’s this guy???
C: This is a totally different guy! He’s like 10 times better than the other two guys!
A: You’re touching my foot. That’s so hot.
C: Is he just leaving her shoe?!?
A: No, the sister got it. I think he’s going to be the villain.
C: I hope not. I’m going to be really sad if he is. Look at those sideburns.
A: You took liberties with my daughter!
C: He’s prettier than Hugh Grant. He’s younger than Alan Rickman. He’s the perfect man.
C: See Kate Winslet is all into him too. She’s like drooling.
A: She’s a jersey chaser.
A: Oh my gosh.
C: You could also get a cold and die!
A: She is so twitter pated.
C: Alan Rickman is back. No one likes you Alan Rickman! Get out!
A: He brought her flowers.
C: Get out!
A: He picked up on that. I’ll just have the flowers go away.
C: Alan Rickman is like “Dude. I was here first.”
A: Yeah, he’s realizing it really quick. Bam. Just like that, the credible man is discarded because he doesn’t wear a jersey.
C: I guarantee you; Kate Winslet is going to hold those flowers longer than she held Alan Rickman’s.
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A: What was the name of the villain in Pride and Prejudice?
Me: Wickham
A: He’s definitely the villain. Wickham and Willoughby. Jane Austen’s not very original.
C: She held the flowers longer!
A: Don’t come across as desperate.
A: All the women are swooning over him!
C: He’s better at talking than Alan Rickman. He’s better looking than Alan Rickman. He’s got better side burns. He’s got that cool pointer that Sir John talked about. Alan Rickman has no dogs that we know of.
A: I don’t want to come across sexist, but people that say women don’t have power don’t understand what femininity has over men. Here you have high ranking, titled dude and boom. Three days later he’s there hanging out with this chick. She’s a pretty face, and boom. She’s got him.
A: Whoa. That was a dig!
C: From here on in, I will refer to Mr. Willoughby as Mr. Wallaby.
Image result for sense and sensibility parrot

C: Oh look, she painted flowers from her window or tree. Can’t really look at it…it’s green.
Image result for sense and sensibility willoughby silhouette
A: She’s obsessed!
C: It’s the reverse Titanic scene! She’s drawing him like one of her French guys and Alan Rickman is really sad about it.
A: Should have been me she was painting.
Image result for sense and sensibility willoughby cutting hair

C: Mr. Wallaby might be rape-y
A: I’m telling you Mr. Wickham and Wallaby are both the villains. WHAT?!? He’s IS creepy cutting the hair and stuff. Well, actually he just has moves.C: Why did they have to ruin him?
C: Kate Winslet won’t even look at Alan. Really, the main characters just need better hair cuts and they would all have a better chance.
C: That carriage is nothing!
A: That’s like the equivalent of the guy pulling up in his Porsche and saying, “You’re having a picnic? That’s nice.” Then vroom vroom off they go.
C: Alan Rickman showed up with one horse and got nothing.
A: He just insulted the entire family.

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C: It’s Umbrage!
C: And House!
A: She’s too eager!
C: The two guys who are best dressed are Wallaby and Dr. House and that carriage guy in the background
A: He was a mouse, he got turned into a butler.
Image result for sense and sensibility sheep

C: Paul Revere!
A: Alan Rickman can really ride a horse. Wow.
A: [Willoughby: As much as I adore…] Whoa! He can’t say it! He’s hiding something. He’s probably engaged to someone or…
C: Wallaby is going to pull a move and I don’t know if it’s a good one.
A: He just seems so perfect.
C: He was creepy with the hair thing, but it’s tempered out since then. Now he’s weird again.
A: The difference between a stalker and a guy being persistent is how the girl receives him, so in this situation the girl likes it.
C: Bad move!
A: Oh! There it is!
C: Willoughby is bad.
A: Maybe he’s just immature?
A: It must be that time of the month. All three women!
C: She just sits and drinks tea by herself.
A: Even the weather is crying.
A: That was a funny scene. One goes to her room, the next goes to her room. The other goes to her room. All just crying.
Image result for sense and sensibility if only you would stop

C: House is just really unhappy in his marriage.
A: Well said, House.
C: She’s going to marry Willoughby!
A: Yeah.
A: Oh no! Edward!
C: What????
A: Mike drop.
C: I feel like these are lies she’s telling, just so she can keep Edward to herself.
A: No, she’s telling the truth.
C: Edward is one of those guys that would be under the table engaged.
A: You’d be surprised what men do when there’s a pretty face in front of them. The other thing too is it may be an arranged marriage so he may not even like her.
C: This Edward chick has a major lazy eye. It’s really going off to the left.
A: Maybe she is a plant!
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A: These old women remind me of clucking hens. Just cluck cluck cluck!
C: That’s because they sound like that. Every time they laugh.
A: [asking about Mrs. Palmer] Is that the mother of Elizabeth Bennet? The same actress? She looks familiar.
C: Here we go, back to the Dashwood’s. Back to the iconic characters. Was it really this depressing to be a woman in the 1800s?
A: Look at those guys in the back of the buggy that have to stand the entire way there.
A: I think you’re right about Lucy. She’s…
C: She keeps reaffirming it. Like she’s trying to keep up the lie
A: Or she’s that girl in the story that believes they’re engaged, but they aren’t, but she believes they are so she perpetuates this lie and it’s just a secret, just the two of them. Like what’s her face off of Highlander [he means Outlander]
A: I’m surprised they’re not more surprised about the parrot. I’m pretty sure they’re not indigenous to England.
C: They had a parrot! Did you notice that?
A: They just walked by it like a household cat.
C: If I was a random country girl from the 1800s, I would be like “Holy Crap! A parrot! I’ve only seen drawings of these and those were all one color so I don’t even know the colors!”
A: It’s the colonel!
C: I wish death. Ooo Big burn
C: Why is everyone so creepy and vague?
A: I don’t know.
A: [Marianne asks the butler again for messages] Did I stutter??? It’s my job to tell you the truth! “Can you check one more time?” yeah, let me check the left side of my brain…Nope, still no messages.
C: He really sloppily threw on that hat. Just a mess.
A: That butler man, he is just like “Oh my gosh. You are so stupid little girl.”
A: If there’s a pile of crap right where you step off, why don’t you just move up like two inches.
C: Or use the other door!
A: It must stink so bad with all that manure.
C: House was really happy talking with the other men and then she came around and he got really sad.
C: What are ices?
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C: Ugh his teeth
A: He is so British! Yuck!
C: What I do like about this more than Pride and Prejudice is that there is a lot more running around. Like the men don’t just stand in corners and stare at people.
A: That room is so hot and so sweaty.
C: And there’s like a fire and a candle. It’s got to be like 90 degrees in there!
A: “Stop talking to me!”
C: Oh my gosh! Wallaby?
A: Wallaby!
C: Go get her Wallaby! No! Don’t do that! That’s not a good thing!
A: What a stupid girl!
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A: You need to pick up on what’s going on!!
C: Everybody just be straight forward! Jerks! This is what Oliver Cromwell rose up for
A: Sister grab her! Sister grab her!
A: Oh geez.
C: Kate Winslet, don’t do it! Aw…
C: Well, Willoughby wasn’t a villain
A: I think Willoughby really loved her and just got caught up in society. It’s not just the girls who get caught up in these marriages, you know
C: Why is Kate Winslet fainting? I mean I guess her whole love life was destroyed, but maybe pull it together. She looks like she’s going to throw up in the ball
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A: That guy is a creepy rapey guy!
C: Are you talking about bad teeth guy? Yeah, he’s the worst
C: Please don’t tell me she is writing a letter to Willoughby!
A: Of course, she is. She’s not rational and full of passion. There’s no ration to her passion.
C: See, she’s sad because she’s wearing dark colors, but everyone else is wearing light colors
C: Oh, lover’s quarrels, huh? Don’t ever talk to me again.
A: There’s that word again…affable
C: I do like in this movie how the guys change outfits more. In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy wore the same outfit for like an hour and a half.
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C: “Oh yeah, now I can go back to Alan Rickman”
A: I don’t know why old people do this, but when they say “there’s other fish in the sea” it doesn’t help. It just makes it hurt more.
C: L just tell me to never get in a relationship…ever…
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C: Even the way the younger what’s his face chews is disgusting.
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C: Of course, Alan Rickman shows up immediately afterwards.
C: You know secretly in Alan Rickman’s mind he’s like “yes!”
A: So, you’re telling me there’s a chance
C: Like if the horse in first place broke a leg and he’s like “yes!”
C: Is he monologuing about his depressing love estrangement?
A: I think so
C: Ugh
A: But why does Miss Grey want Willoughby?
C: Miss Grey wants a hottie with a body. Is there any other reason to want him after he’s been disowned? Also, this whole story is very convenient for Alan Rickman
C: Did Alan Rickman just tell a horrible story about Willoughby and then say, “it’s ok he did love her.”
A: No Snape was just being honest with her, he was going to propose, but because I found out he couldn’t do anything. She was pregnant for 8 months, so 8 months ago he was doing the hibbity-dibbity with his adopted daughter and after that he truly fell in love with the sister, but then everything unraveled and he choose money. That’s all Snape was saying. He really did love her.
C: I really hate that lady
A: She must be a plant.
[Mr. Edward Ferrars to see you ma’am]
C: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
A: Oh snap!
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A: Yeah! Edward!
C: Anyone going to introduce Miss Steele in the background being creepy?
A: All three girls just look at him!
C: The worst part about this: in these Jane Austen movies the main hero has no self-confidence and are socially awkward. Now the poor guy is in a room with three females all ready to attack.
C: Edward is about to cry. He walked into this room intending to talk to one person and then left with a whole other person
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C: She;s going to get proposed to by whats his face the younger brother.
A: She’s going to find out right here it’s the brother
A: Hypocrite!
A: She’s going to get slapped or thrown out of the house or something!
A: Called it!
A: Clucking hens cluck cluck cluck
C: Man. I cannot believe that Lucy was telling the truth.
A: yeah, I’m kind of surprised by that.
A: there’s always cats. Women have their cats and boys have their video games…see? We don’t need to be married.
C: Like I always say, if you can’t find love in two weeks…
C: We still have thirty minutes left of this movie!
A: What’s with that picture in the background?
C: The one where the guy is looking seductively?
A: I think that’s a girl
C: I figured it was a guy saying “hello!” like Mr. Bean
[Colonel Brandon is the kindest and best of men]
A: That’s why he’s in the friend zone.
C: He will never make eye contact, whenever he says something he’ll glance up and then back on the floor. Also, these are like the best clothes that what’s his face has ever worn
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A: I love House. He has perfected the art of just drowning his wife out.
C: Why is Kate Winslet still depressed?
A: Oh yeah, she’s not eating.
C: It’s been like a month
[Marianne goes for a walk again]
C: Willoughby just pops out of nowhere
A: it might happen
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A: There are no words to describe how awesome that scene is
C: See Alan Rickman is going to pop up and be all passionate and everything.
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C: Oh my gosh. Is she going to walk to Willoughby’s house?
A: No!
C: She’s walking up the hill!
C: She walked to Willoughby’s house
A: I guess you’re right
C: Now she’s going to get a cold and die
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A: yeah! The Colonel saves her!
[Elinor to Mr. Palmer: I think Marianne may need a doctor]
A: I don’t play a doctor for at least another decade. Come on!
A: Wow. That was a reaction
C: One, this is the most enigmatic scene House has had this entire movie and Two, it is entirely to get away from his wife
A: Please let me stay! I’m more use here than somewhere else
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C: Jack! Jack no! Turns out Titanic was all a fever dream.
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A: Alan Rickman is like “I can do that!”
A: There’s going to bleed her!
C: Is that a bowl specifically made for bleeding or did they break that bowl trying to make the bleeding bowl?
C: yeah, she’s sick cause you just drained the blood from her arm!
C: What do your vague comments mean, doctor?
A: See this is why everyone in Korea, Phillipines, China, and Japan all say you don’t go outside when it’s raining.
C: Don’t go outside and walk five miles in the rain and then stand there and be sad.
A: You know how people say rain never hurt anybody? False. It kills women. They’re all allergic to it.
C: You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.
C: High 50/50 chance on this girl dying. We could go Little Women or everyone is happily ever after. I mean, it could be Beth and I could be sad the whole time.
A: No, it’s going to go Little Women and then Alan Rickman will marry the other sister.
A: Still alive!!! Further perpetuating the malpractice of bleeding people.
A: I bet Willoughby shows up and takes credit for all of it!
C: Kate Winslet is going to be told Alan Rickman saved her and she’s going to be in love with him.
A: Hollywood, he closes the door politely
C: Maybe she thinks of him as a friend
A: That’s a turning point for them!
C: That turning point happens when there’s only like 15 minutes left.
A: That’s a pretty rolling hill. You know, when it doesn’t rain that is beautiful country.
C: yeah, but it rains like 80% of the time
C: Get. Over. Willoughby. No one cares! No one cared about Willoughby when it first happened.
[Mr. Ferrars is married, but of course you know that ma’am]
A: Oh no!
C: When did they get this guy?
A: Affable again!
C: Mmm cake that takes three days to get to their little cottage
C: They just threw in Thomas for exposition! Who wrote this?
A: She’s not playing the piano!
A: oh…Now she is.
C: Is that some kind of bird?
C: It’s a much happier tune than her previous
A: I do think it’s cool that the older siblings and the mom know what’s going on so the one daughter who has a chance goes in the room and everyone immediately attends to make sure she looks pretty. That’s pretty cool.
[We’ve been enjoying very fine weather]
A: Well said!
A: He’s like what are you talking about?
C: Oh man, this is great conversation…
C: He broke off the engagement!
C: What???
Image result for sense and sensibility viper in my bosom

A: So…do you wanna go on a date?
A: Keep it together…keep it together
C: Oh! Lucy is just sleeping around the Ferrars household!
C: Oh my gosh, this is the first scene that this character has shown emotion of any kind.
Image result for sense and sensibility my heart is and always will be yours

C: This is where you drop him and find a new man that’s better.
A: What does that mean?? He’s kneeling down!
C: She just needs to drop him and find a new man who knows how to deal with feelings.
C: The only scene with emotion
A: No, that’s not true. She’s just held it back the whole time and then she had a…an episode
C: I like that you have one sister who’s ethos is all passion and the other that isn’t. The passion one gets burned and then her mind sees the value of the colonel. And vice versa, the older daughter is able to emotionally release and embrace Edward.
Image result for sense and sensibility willoughby

C: If they end the movie with this whole wedding sequence here that means that all of the middle sister’s storyline is unresolved. Oh nevermind! They resolved it.
A: Aw, now I feel bad for Willoughby!
L: Every time I see this scene I think they are throwing giant metal coins, it would hurt so bad.
A: Why aren’t we still doing that? I would go to so many more weddings if they threw coins.
A: Wait, why didn’t the older sister get married? Or are they engaged?
C: But did you see Willoughby up on that horse. So sad.
A: Seroiusly!
C: Why did they have to do Willoughby like that?
A: It’s not like Willoughby has a profession to just make money. So if you disown me, now I just have no money and the girl I like has no money. Well, if he kept it in his pants he woul dhave been just fine.
C: What if Alan Rickman just made up the whole thing?
A: He didn’t.
C: Poor Willoughby. He’s got to live in that mansion with that girl.
A: Out of all the characters I feel the worst for them.
C: He’s still rich and has a hot wife though, so his life hasn’t turned out all bad.
C: There was a surprising lack of pig testacles in this movie.
C: Overall I think I liked Pride and Prejudice more, but everyone has a lot more emotions in this movie
A: I think Pride and Prejudice was more entertaining overall, but they pushed the limits on social acceptability and you can related with all of them a little bit.
C: I thought they were going to really cover the fact that they live on only 500 pounds a year, but it really only lasted for 15 minutes.

And there you have it! Let us know your favorite parts in the comments, and if you've ever been party to a Jane Austen noob reading her books or watching film adaptations, tell us the moments that stood out to you! 

Leigh Dreyer is the author of The Best Laid Flight Plans and The Flight Path Less Traveled, and is a huge fan of Jane Austen variations and the JAFF community. She is blessed to have multi-generational military connections through herself and her husband, who she met in pilot training. She often describes her formative years in this way, "You know the Great Balls of Fire scene in Top Gun ("Goose you big stud!!!"), where Goose and Meg Ryan have their kid on the piano? I was that kid." Leigh lives with her pilot husband, a plane-obsessed son and a daughter who is almost walking.

Jane Austen, Austen in August, blog event, Jane Austen fan fiction, JAFF, The Book Rat, BookRatMisty
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  1. Hilarious! Here are my absolutely favorites:

    And now he’s having dinner with them? What a punk. I hope he gets run over by a horse.

    Kate Winslet won’t even look at Alan. Really, the main characters just need better hair cuts and they would all have a better chance.

    C: Ugh his teeth
    A: He is so British! Yuck!

    I love House. He has perfected the art of just drowning his wife out.

    C: Every time I see this scene I think they are throwing giant metal coins, it would hurt so bad.
    A: Why aren’t we still doing that? I would go to so many more weddings if they threw coins.

    There was a surprising lack of pig testacles in this movie.

    1. Pig testicles wins, hands down.
      Some other favorites:

      Everyone is quiet and mean.

      C: I wish they still had boots like that. They’re so nice
      A: They do—girls wear them.

      C: She has two candles burning? Such a waste. She only gets 500 pounds a month [a month! lolol!] and she burns all the candles at once
      C: If she doesn’t have enough sugar, why is she burning three candles at a time!

      He’s a millennial before his time.

      C: It’s about to rain, why are they walking?
      A: Cause damsels in distress

      And so many more. All the fashion talk! All of it, hilarious.

    2. The fashion talk kills me especially because C wears like graphic tees and jeans. I'm pretty sure I tried to get him a really cute outfit once and he was like, "no."

  2. Fave -
    [Elinor to Mr. Palmer: I think Marianne may need a doctor]
    A: I don’t play a doctor for at least another decade. Come on!

    1. A Hahahha hahahahhahah! HOUSE! The House references. I always think HOUSE whenever that scene comes up too. I would love a Saturday Night Live skit where they mash up House with this scene.

    2. As my dad would say, there was not enough blood vomit for HOUSE. How would she even get to see him without it?

  3. Oh man, this was more entertaining than anything I've read in forever. Oho, their first impressions and final conclusions about the sisters (and actresses who played them) was a hoot.

    1. I loved when they knew who Kate Winslet was, but not Emma Thompson. I'm pretty sure we've watched significantly more Emma in this house than Kate, but whatever...

  4. I didn’t think anything could top the menfolk watch P&P, but this was great. Of all of their snarky observations that left my side splitting, I actually liked this one the best:

    C: I like that you have one sister who’s ethos is all passion and the other that isn’t. The passion one gets burned and then her mind sees the value of the colonel. And vice versa, the older daughter is able to emotionally release and embrace Edward

    Well done again, C, A, and Leigh!.

    1. They can be remarkably intelligent sometimes.

  5. Lol, very funny. So is it Emma next August? ;)

  6. That treehouse looks very nice! And Emma Thompson's husband does make a suitable swain!

  7. This was hilarious. I am not sure if I would like people talking throughout the movie like this but at least it proves they were watching and paying attention. Whenever I ask my husband to watch anything, he seems more focused on a device so I don't think he's really watching at all so I've given up trying to get him interested in Austen.

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