Friday, March 12, 2010
Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Mėlyna, but you may refer to me as the Cerulean Queen. I normally do not stoop so low as to address myself to the peasantry, but perhaps you could help me...
There is a girl. A little chit of a thing, insignificant, really. Except...
Except that this chit, this girl-thing took what wasn't hers and she -- it pains me to tell you so, she drank it! A potion of my very own making, and she took it and drank it as if it were nothing more than a commoner's pint of ale, or a peasant's soporific!
This is the very thing she did, I tell you!
It was set upon the little table, just so, in its clever cut-crystal glass, just so, with a neat little label, you see, just so.
I am quite beside myself.
More cannot be made, you see, and I must have it back! I'll to the juicery with her, and extract it just so, drop by drop, into my clever cut-crystal bottle with it's clever little stopper and its neat little label, and I'll place it back upon the little table, just so, where it belongs.
But there is a difficulty. This girl, this chit, who calls herself "Alice" -- well, my people tell me she is quite hard to find. We get such conflicting reports, you see.
Some have told us she is merely a little girl, all blond-haired and blue-eyed, and no, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth and flamingos wouldn't hurt their heads on her croquet balls.
Such a thing should be easy to catch, my Queen, not a problem at all...
So they told me.
But she was not so easy a catch as all that.
Then, some said she is not really a little girl at all; it was a disguise, the hair and the eyes and the tinkling little voice. No, no, my Queen, she is far craftier, they said.
She has dark tresses, and wears little yellow dresses, and she's quite a slippery thing... [off with his head]
But no, wait! my Queen! She is not a simple little girl but a princess! She had every right to drink your potion, surely? [off with his head]
No, of course, my Queen, she had no right to even touch -- but she is a princess, and she has imaginative powers the likes of which we have never seen, you see, she can create weapons of mass destruction, or at least mass weirdness, and we lowly servants could certainly not be expected to face such -- [off with his head]
Alas, my queen, she is not really a little girl at all, you see. She is a rather large girl, a woman, really, with and she can fight! She has something they call a "black belt" in some strange style of fighting, and she flips people over, just so! Surely, it was she that drank your potion, my Queen, but my Queen -- [off with his head]
So, you see, I am in a predicament. I've precious few servants left with their heads attached, and I really must get my potion back. My soup is so tasteless without it.
So if you have seen her, this "Alice"-girl, this pretender to a throne, this black-belted valkyrie, you would tell me, wouldn't you?
I can offer you a reward...
You simply must find her!!! (<--- click me!)