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Sunday, April 10, 2011

Meh, with a side of Eww - Bumped by Megan McCafferty review

by Megan McCafferty
To be released: April 26, 2011 
Balzer + Bray

When a virus makes everyone over the age of eighteen infertile, would-be parents are forced to pay teen girls to conceive and give birth to their children, making teens the most prized members of society.

Sixteen-year-old identical twins Melody and Harmony were separated at birth and had never met until the day Harmony shows up on Melody’s doorstep. Until now, the twins have followed completely opposite paths. Melody has scored an enviable conception contract with a couple called the Jaydens. While they are searching for the perfect partner for Melody to bump with, she is fighting her attraction to her best friend Zen, who is way too short for the job.

Harmony has spent her whole life in religious Goodside, preparing to be a wife and mother. She believes her calling is to bring Melody back to Goodside and convince her that “pregging” for profit is a sin. But Harmony has secrets of her own that she is running from.

When Melody is finally matched with the world-famous, genetically flawless Jondoe, both girls’ lives are changed forever. A case of mistaken identity takes them on a journey neither could have ever imagined, one that makes Melody and Harmony realize they have so much more than just DNA in common. 

Another video review for you guys.  Sorry, it's a longish one again.  But if you're not into video reviews, here's a brief written review, in the language of Bumped:

It was like, rilly rilly all about young girls pregging for money.  Like, for seriously young.  But it was okay, 'cause they were being, like, patriotic, and all the hot girls go Pro anyway, and it's just a delivery, so who cares?  And if creepy old guy agents are making you major bank on that pregg, and your creepy parents are encouraging it, and you get to bump with like, the hawtest hunkaspunk in, I dunno, the whole Uni, then why the eff not, right?  And, so, yeah, sometimes people die or have, like postpartum pyschosis, but it just means that they are rilly, like, not ProAm material, they are totally neggy.

But there are these Churchies, too, and they are total creepers who believe in keeping their preggs and having like, lots of them.  And they want you to have god, and be obedient and whatevs, but maybe they wouldn't mind a little erection perfection themselves... But, yeah, they're still creepy.

So when these 2 sisters, one who's totally going to bump with, like, the cockjockey, and one who's like a total Churchie, get together, it's like for seriously predictable, and is rilly gonna get banned for like sex + religion stuff.  Like total Sexigion. And yeah, some neggy people are going to be all like "Oh, where's the science?  Why don't they just do like, artificial bumpage, blahblahblah"   But that's just cause neggy people don't get it, right?  Cause it's satire, bitches.

Oh, and it for seriously ends in the middle of a scene in a rilly irritating way.


  1. Cool video review :)
    I'm an atheist too but I would feel a bit weird by the sexual/religious mingling imagery...
    Do you think it is a book which has for sole purpose to shock? Or is there something behind?

  2. For seriously? This sounds beyond crude, and, like, totally vapid and splashy. Like, it's only going for the shock and awe, you know?
    I wonder if it was trying to make a larger statement, though, because there are religious issues at play when you have something like that going on. It's too early to go into them right now, but trust me, it's important stuff. For seriously.

  3. It's really written like that? Ick. I didn't even want to read this before but now I think you've convinced me just on writing style alone.

  4. This one sounds terrible, but I kind of want to read it to see how much I dislike it. Guess I'm a masochist.

  5. Love the way you wrote the written review with Bumped dialect. (Tho I think it would get on my nerves while reading!) I don't think I would like this one, though I love dystopia-- it all sounds kind of shallow. But awesome video review! :)

  6. Hmmm, when I started reading this book, a lot of the problems you mentioned really bothered me. The whole religious thing was just way too much and I really thought that the slang was obnoxious. But I love Megan McCafferty so I kept reading, and surprisingly I did end up really enjoying the book.

    Some scenes were gross but others were genuinely funny. I loved that it was satirical dystopian which is really refreshing from all the serious ones out there in the market.

    It's definitely not something for younger teens. And I can also see it getting banned.

    Yeah, publishers need to stop with the series. It's really annoying me as well.

    Awesome review though! I really enjoyed watching it. New follower. ;)

  7. I just found your blog through "Consumed by Books" and I'm so glad I did! Really great and thorough review and I liked that you did a video review :)

  8. Awesome review Misty! I've been hearing a lot about this book, and you've given me a lot to think about...

  9. the wordspeak reminds me of clockwork orange which is what would draw me to this story. however, your meh, makes me hesitate.

  10. Awesome review - love the vlog :)

    Wow - pretty much made me want to read this one even more - just to see if I would be shocked :)
    Not a whole lot bothers me in general so I tend to like books that push the envelope.


  11. I can definitely see why some people are going to love this and some are going to hate it. It's very out-there and outrageous, but I think that helps it get its point across. If the world really did devolve this far, it would be completely and utterly insane. And that's what Megan McCafferty shows -- and world that's gone completely off their rocker on both ends of the spectrum. This book goes for the shock factor, but I definitely think there's food for thought in there. I was especially intrigued by the religious aspect, and the conflation of eroticism and religion. I grew up in an uber-religious small town, so Harmony's struggle with being force-fed dogma and told not to ask any questions seemed very realistic to me.

  12. Atheist here as well =)

    Your video review was amazing. (like, rilly amazing) I haven't read this one yet, but I strongly suspect I will feel much the same way about it as you did.

  13. @Casey: Absolutely! I should have mentioned that, I did like her questioning. And the reality of her relationship with Ram. Those rang true to me.
    I do think this book has it's positives, and I do think it's going to have its fans, and start some discussions (which is always a plus!).
    It just hit on some pet peeves of mine, and missed the mark a bit for me.
    Like I said, I didn't DISlike it - but I don't know how much I liked it, either. It was a thoroughly weird place to be in when I finished reading.

  14. Great reviews, both of them. I had no idea what this one was about but have seen it everywhere. Now I don't need to read it. Your video review made me say "eew". I'm not sure I'd want my teens to read it either. Not unless they really get satire very well. Just from what you said, I'm not sure I get satire well enough to read it. So, no thanks!

    And I'm with you! Can't anyone write a stand alone book?


  15. Great review. I haven't read this, but I think if I do I'll feel the same way and agree with you on the fact a lot of books that should be standalone are made into series more for the money and not because it has to be to get the story across.

    Nightshade by Andrea Cremer was banned from some libraries/schools before it was released because the characters have animal characteristics and there is a homosexual relationship in it, so I'm surprised that hasn't happen here yet.

  16. Ek it does sound ewww. Great honest review.

  17. First off, I love the title of your review. I'm torn about wanting to read this book. It seems interesting, but the ick factor and the horrible language are off putting. Hmmm.

    And it is super annoying that there are really no stand alone teen books anymore. Everything has to have a series.

  18. So no room for gay / asexual / no-touch extreme introvert / childfree / etc teenagers???????????????????????????????????????

  19. So it would seem.
    There is a teeny tiny hint of a character who is gay, but he lives in a repressive religious community and hides it.

  20. I'm usually not a fan of vlogs, because every one I've watched has a series of people saying "umm...." and the weird camera thing that changes perspective for each sentence a person says, so after I get the sense of yay or nay, I just exit. But surprisingly, I loved this vlog. I already own the book, so I'll read it, but I was borderline on whether to read it next or not. I'm so happy to have found someone who is actually prepared with key points for their reviews and context representations.
    Thanks for the helpful input, I'll be following your reviews now. :)

    1. This is a really old one, so hopefully my vlogging skills have come along way... But glad it won you over! =D
      (And I would still read it if I were you. It was interesting and quick, I just had some issues with it)


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