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Thursday, July 11, 2013

BOOK RAGE-QUITS: 15 Day Book Blogging Challenge, Day 4

Alrighty, so today is day 4 of April's Challenge, and though I skipped yesterday due to busy-overdrive (and a general panic that comes over me anytime anyone asks me to name BFFs* or absolute faves, or anything of the sort...), I'm going to jump back into the swing of things with today's question of ...

What was the last book you flung across the room?

I'll be honest, I don't know that I've ever** thrown a book. My REAL frustration in books, the point of no-return, guaranteed DNF-ness is apathy. If you can't make me give even a single, tiny bit of f*ck, then I will drop your book like it's [a] hot [steaming pile]... But those aren't books you necessarily throw. Apathy is apathy. I don't care enough to throw your book.  I care so little for the words you've somehow managed to muster up (by throwing darts at a board full of random sentences, presumably) that I'd rather consider turning your book into some fabulous book art - and I certainly wouldn't want to damage the book beforehand...

HOWEVER, there have been books that have come close. So I'm going to tell you about those:

The Da Vinci Code - I know, I know, that this book is a massively popular best seller. Which makes me seriously question what is wrong with the money-having, book-reading populace. I get that it is a pretty compelling concept - interesting enough that I actually read some (much better) non-fiction books when I was done. BUT DAN BROWN'S WRITING, THOUGH. Ugh, the man is a master of every pet peeve in the book. (And by "the book" I mean, The Book of Things to Piss Misty Off. But they're all in his book, too, so what do you know? One and the same!) UGH.
Thinking of that book and it's obnoxiously miniscule chapters and back-and-forth POVs makes me want to retroactively ragequit.

Charlotte and Pride & Prejudice & Zombies - two Jane Austen retellings that should have been good in theory, but their authors clearly didn't give a shit. I can put up with a lot in a book, but when you're already pissing me off with juvenile writing and piss-poor characterization, you had better make sure your editing is on point. Because when your character and town names change from one page to the next, as was the case in both of thse, there is NO clearer signal to me that you really don't give a shit. And if you don't, I sure as hell won't.
FUN FACT: My review of Charlotte was the single most scathing thing I've ever written (and if you've read my Hush, Hush review, that's saying something...), but the PAGE CRASHED and I lost the whole thing. And yes, that was a time I DID ragequit. Things may have been thrown that time...
[Side note: the 2 follow-ups to PPZ, written by someone else? Not bad.]

Betwixt - I had to finish this one because it was for a challenge where I had to blindly point to a book on the library shelves, and then read & review it. And it. was. awful. Really  l  o  o  o  o  o  n  g  book about teens, that sounds like it was written by someone who'd never been a teen. Hell, had never been human.
An alien, whose only concept of "teen" came from campy, cheesy, outdated sitcoms that had been beamed into space by generations past...

Carrier of the Mark - I made a chart for this one. Because reasons.

And, as mentioned above, and as I'm sure many of you were expecting:
Hush motherfreaking Hush - This book, man. THIS BOOK. This has come the closest to being thrown of any book I've ever read. I was willing to damage that gorgeous cover, that's how much I raged over this book.  I kept giving it chances, and it kept punching me in the face with idiocy, bad writing, horrendous characters, and one of the most disturbing relationships to ever be set up as swoonworthy that I've ever encountered. Apparently a lot of you agree with me on this, as it's by far my most popular review, and one of the most popular for H,H on Goodreads, period.
I was willing to go with it. I like an anti-hero. I like things to be a little boundary-pushing. I was even willing to just say, "Okay, Nora's a crazy person. That's what this book is, let's do this!" But the minute your main character, who has thought all along that the "hero" wanted to kill her, discovers that yes, he did want to kill her, takes that as a sign that he loves me and could never hurt me, we are f*cking done.
AND OMG GUYS, I kept going back. I finished the book - like an abused girlfriend, like the idiot I railed against Nora for being ... what if this was some strange piece of thought-provoking performance art? Pfft! Please. 
This book is one big bag of NOPENOPENOPE.

*I do have some people I consider blogging BFFs, whether they like it or not consider me to be one, too. Among them, people I've known since before blogging, via Goodreads, like Allison, Kristen and April (we all started blogging at about the same time, actually, because we're so cool like that, yo.), and Liz, who started after us but was right in the thick of things pretty early on. But there are also  a number of you I secretly stalk, or don't talk to nearly often enough, but love it when I do. Lots of you. So though I didn't name names yesterday, I want you guys to know you have all my lurves.
** Well, at least not out of frustration with the book. Have books ever been thrown at walls, objects, or people-shaped masses? ...no comment.


  1. Awww Misty, I wuv you too. ;) I actually sorta liked Hush Hush (at the time)... I'm sure if I reread it now I would hate it. I tried Crescendo out and could not get past the first scene. I was like wtf... seriously? We are going to start with them on the fritz of their just begotten relationship. Not that they are all sunshine and peaches.

    Throne of Glass would have made my list of throwing books - but it was on my kindle and I didn't want to damage it. I just wanted her to kill SOMEONE or do something that made sense. And I still don't understand the romance in it.. at all. What romance? Pompous poppy pants and/or the solemn guard?

    I left today for Kate to do, but she hasn't yet. Too many people like Throne of Glass so I'd probably make enemies anyways.

  2. Pompous puppy pants! Hahaha! I haven't read it, though I've been wanting to, but that actually makes me want to read it MORE, so I can find out who pompous puppy pants is. ;P

    And yeah, we've talked about Hush, Hush before. I can see why people are able to like it, or able to forgive it, at least. But I just COULD NOT. I couldn't get past some things, especially when it was all just piled on top of each other and neverending, and just no. No.

    I need to link you guys. I was being lazy... Gonna go do that now. =D

  3. <33333333


    I dodged a bullet by never reading that book. Oh my god. Hahahaha.


    I liked The Da Vinci Code at the time I read it, but then I grew some critical thinking cells and am not quite a fan anymore.

  4. April, I would be GENUINELY curious to hear your thoughts on Hush, Hush. And by that, I mean I'd like to see your rage, especially given your line of work. There are some serious issues here, and the fact that it's marketed to young girls as this loving ideal... I shit you not, I had a girl on Goodreads tell me I just didn't get it because I'm not 'romantic' enough. And that REALLY worries me...

    So yeah, I think we could bitchfest this one something fierce.

  5. I've avoided Hush, Hush ever since someone said, "This book is the closest readalike to Twilight's effed up relationship dynamic you will ever find." Yeeeeeah no. Pass!

    The Da Vinci Code is fast-paced. That's it's selling point. People keep turning the page to find out what happens next. Annnd... then the end is ridiculous. Oh well!

    PP&Z disappointed me horribly; the idea was so brilliant, but like you said, Misty, the author clearly didn't care. He didn't care about Austen at all, he just wanted to make money by making fun of something he didn't like. I read five pages and quit.

    Throne of Glass has been on my TBR, but now I'm uncertain.

  6. Nancy, I honestly think the relationship in Hush, Hush is worse. I can't speak for the rest of the series, but first book to first book, this one was abysmal. Straight up scary.

    And yes, Seth Graham Smith didn't care AT ALL. Not just about Austen, but even his own writing and integrity. That book still makes me angry. =/

  7. Lol I love your Twilight vs. Carrier of the Mark chart. Even though I do like Twilight (yeah) I really HATE when authors copy cat it - or anything else that's big. I don't want to read something unoriginal that was published/written with the intention of making money/being famous. It's always BAD and makes me lose hope about finding good books. Also, I just bought a copy of Betwixt not too long ago at an SPCA book sale! Aaah ): At least it benefited the puppies.

  8. I like Twilight, too, for pure enjoyment, so clearly I'm able to set things aside. But yeah, something that does a shitty knockoff job in the hopes of $$ is never going to get any points from me...

    I'd be curious to hear what you think if you do read Betwixt - I don't know anyone else who's read it.

  9. Yeah, if I read it I will let you know :) ... Though I'm looking at its Goodreads page for the first time and I think it has one of the lowest average ratings I've ever seen (2.6) Yikes.


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