What was the last book you flung across the room?
I'll be honest, I don't know that I've ever** thrown a book. My REAL frustration in books, the point of no-return, guaranteed DNF-ness is apathy. If you can't make me give even a single, tiny bit of f*ck, then I will drop your book like it's [a] hot [steaming pile]... But those aren't books you necessarily throw. Apathy is apathy. I don't care enough to throw your book. I care so little for the words you've somehow managed to muster up (by throwing darts at a board full of random sentences, presumably) that I'd rather consider turning your book into some fabulous book art - and I certainly wouldn't want to damage the book beforehand...
HOWEVER, there have been books that have come close. So I'm going to tell you about those:
The Da Vinci Code - I know, I know, that this book is a massively popular best seller. Which makes me seriously question what is wrong with the money-having, book-reading populace. I get that it is a pretty compelling concept - interesting enough that I actually read some (much better) non-fiction books when I was done. BUT DAN BROWN'S WRITING, THOUGH. Ugh, the man is a master of every pet peeve in the book. (And by "the book" I mean, The Book of Things to Piss Misty Off. But they're all in his book, too, so what do you know? One and the same!) UGH.
Thinking of that book and it's obnoxiously miniscule chapters and back-and-forth POVs makes me want to retroactively ragequit.
Charlotte and Pride & Prejudice & Zombies - two Jane Austen retellings that should have been good in theory, but their authors clearly didn't give a shit. I can put up with a lot in a book, but when you're already pissing me off with juvenile writing and piss-poor characterization, you had better make sure your editing is on point. Because when your character and town names change from one page to the next, as was the case in both of thse, there is NO clearer signal to me that you really don't give a shit. And if you don't, I sure as hell won't.
FUN FACT: My review of Charlotte was the single most scathing thing I've ever written (and if you've read my Hush, Hush review, that's saying something...), but the PAGE CRASHED and I lost the whole thing. And yes, that was a time I DID ragequit. Things may have been thrown that time...
[Side note: the 2 follow-ups to PPZ, written by someone else? Not bad.]
Betwixt - I had to finish this one because it was for a challenge where I had to blindly point to a book on the library shelves, and then read & review it. And it. was. awful. Really l o o o o o n g book about teens, that sounds like it was written by someone who'd never been a teen. Hell, had never been human.
An alien, whose only concept of "teen" came from campy, cheesy, outdated sitcoms that had been beamed into space by generations past...
Carrier of the Mark - I made a chart for this one. Because reasons.
And, as mentioned above, and as I'm sure many of you were expecting:
Hush motherfreaking Hush - This book, man. THIS BOOK. This has come the closest to being thrown of any book I've ever read. I was willing to damage that gorgeous cover, that's how much I raged over this book. I kept giving it chances, and it kept punching me in the face with idiocy, bad writing, horrendous characters, and one of the most disturbing relationships to ever be set up as swoonworthy that I've ever encountered. Apparently a lot of you agree with me on this, as it's by far my most popular review, and one of the most popular for H,H on Goodreads, period.
I was willing to go with it. I like an anti-hero. I like things to be a little boundary-pushing. I was even willing to just say, "Okay, Nora's a crazy person. That's what this book is, let's do this!" But the minute your main character, who has thought all along that the "hero" wanted to kill her, discovers that yes, he did want to kill her, takes that as a sign that he loves me and could never hurt me, we are f*cking done.
This book is one big bag of NOPENOPENOPE.
*I do have some people I consider blogging BFFs, whether they
** Well, at least not out of frustration with the book. Have books ever been thrown at walls, objects, or people-shaped masses? ...no comment.