Dear US Postal Service,
Next time you have a package to deliver for me, and you can b a r e l y fit it into the box, how's about you just put it in my door. You see, the box has a rim on it that, when accessed from my side, means I CAN'T GET THE EFFING THING OUT. This means that I try to shimmy it out for 30 minutes while shivering in the Michigan December weather, whilst my books are sitting there, tantalizingly out of reach. Next time, pull your head out of your ass, walk your lazy self the extra distance to my door and be less of an idiot.