I've dreaded having to write this. I've been putting it off, and putting off thinking about any of this, frankly. But I've been absent for a few weeks now, and it didn't feel right to jump back in without an explanation, though I wasn't ready to explain, or in the mood to focus on much of anything, and then I got stuck in a guilt-loop, and... it's time to just let you know where I've been and why some things have fallen through the cracks recently.
This wasn't a completely unexpected occurrence, but that somehow didn't make it any easier, so for the last month or so, between hospital visits and preparing for hospice* to descend on us, and then paying for/scraping together a funeral, on top of just normal life bullshit, I've been drained and not in the least little bit of a mood to blog, or answer emails or care, really. The extent of my caring about the appearance of normalcy extended to sporadic twitter or instagram posts, and half the time I just closed the page on those without even finishing them...
I tell you this for a couple reasons: 1) If you've emailed me or I was supposed to email you and I didn't, this is why communication has been non-existent; 2) If I was supposed to read or review your book, or post a certain vlog, or anything along those lines, and haven't... well, it'll happen when it happens, because frankly, though I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things because I think I need to, a BIG part of me still doesn't want to, so I'm sure things will be spotty for the next stretch of blog-time.
So, though I could just say, "Been gone, life stuff" and leave it at that, I thought I should explain because you guys are a part of my life, too. I've talked to you so much, and am close to many of you. Some of you knew the basics of what's been going on through Facebook, but for the rest of you that have wondered where I've been, or will wonder in the foreseeable future why I seem down in a video, or why there are stretches of time where I just disappear for a bit, I felt like you deserve some form of explanation. So this is why.
Bear with me, is basically what I'm saying.
And thank you for your support.
And hug your loved ones.
*Magical, glorious people, Hospice. Seriously. When I have enough brain cells to devote to it, I think I'm going to attempt a fundraiser to benefit hospice, because they are amazing.