tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post3372787746112144847..comments2024-03-28T03:33:21.028-04:00Comments on The Book Rat: The Trouble with Mr Bennet | A Conversation with Maria GraceMistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11436497955518156688noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-38146469427294073492018-09-06T23:39:16.655-04:002018-09-06T23:39:16.655-04:00I learnt a lot from reading this post. You certain...I learnt a lot from reading this post. You certainly opened my eyes on Mr Bennet as I always think he is a neglectful parent at best and just cannot be bothered about his daughters other than Elizabeth and occasionally Jane.Lúthien84https://www.blogger.com/profile/15390711363301378521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-45726547764230300222018-09-04T11:25:55.510-04:002018-09-04T11:25:55.510-04:00I was thinking he was a great guy, even with the n...I was thinking he was a great guy, even with the narcissism that allowed his wife and more frivolous daughters to go wild.John Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14692188725616854777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-59279116595647739502018-09-04T07:30:26.853-04:002018-09-04T07:30:26.853-04:00I really learned a lot from this post about Mr. Be...I really learned a lot from this post about Mr. Bennet. Interesting...This conversation has me thinking about Anne Elliot's father now. Deborah Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18440423047233791148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-84470540717589212912018-09-03T03:02:57.911-04:002018-09-03T03:02:57.911-04:00On the subject of Austen making a statement about ...On the subject of Austen making a statement about the judgment (hers or general) on characters with how she draws their fate, I beg to disagree. In general, there are very few villains in her wrold ewho get their just desserts - an appropriate punishment for their actions, that is. The only thing is, the villains' evil plans against the heroine are always thwarted, and they aren't rewarded with a personal fulfilment and happiness (it is doubtful whether many of them would even appreciate that). But most of them are fairly comfortable at story endings (Wickham, Willoughby, Henry Crawford, Mary Crawford, Henry Tilney, the Thorpes, Lucy Steele, the Eltons, Frank Churchill...). Mr. bennet fits into this cathegory as well. <br />In fact, I think this is part of why readers are always debating whether many of the above are in fact villains (that is, morally seriously in the wrong, with contemptible traits and actions) or just misguided and somewhat faulty individuals. Agneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00047890626000373572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-70574669374694211182018-08-31T02:57:50.159-04:002018-08-31T02:57:50.159-04:00It is very interesting to see how people differ in...It is very interesting to see how people differ in interpreting Mr. Bennet. I have been wondering whether the hurtful and sort of amoral things he says are facetious or actually true. My own attitude has changed significantly about Mr. Bennet since first reading the book. In the beginning, I completely accepted Elizabeth's opinion of him at face value - along with her, I liked him because he liked her and singled her out; and I was swept along in Elizabeth's excusing his more cutting wit because Elizabeth's wit and attitude is somewhat similar, although tempered by her kindness. And yes, P&P'95 really portrays him in a sympathetic way. But then, I began to feel the sharp edge of all the jokes he allows himself at his daughters' and wife's expense, even in their face (the exchange about Jane's heartbreak being one, but another when he challenges Mary to say something profound and she just sits there embarrassed cut me to the core!) And then I stopped thinkng that "he can't possibly mean the horrid things he says!", like Elizabeth thought Charlotte can't possibly mean the disillusioned things she says about happiness in marriage - and as it turns out, Charlotte means it - and in my present opinion, Mr. Bennet means it. More exactly (I have seen this tactic) he says it as if it was a joke but it is the actual truth and it's a rather dark truth. The tactic in it is that the pretense of joking creates the expectation that those who understand it should excuse him and the people he aims his cutting remarks at would look at fault for actually being hurt by a joke. Agneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00047890626000373572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-88120667677852510002018-08-30T06:09:11.439-04:002018-08-30T06:09:11.439-04:00I would like to add another aspect to Mr. Bennet&#...I would like to add another aspect to Mr. Bennet's irresponsibility. Even before he gives up on hoping for a son, his solution to his daughters' future is an irresponsible one which places the burden on someone else than himself. He and Mrs. B. were hoping for an eventual son to grow up and agree to break the entail to provide for their daughters/his sisters. Now, entails were invented to keep family estate/fortune tied together, to keep the family wealth for future generations. If a future Bennet son breaks the entail and sells a portion of land to provide dowries for the Bennet girls, he gives away his own capital, the basis of his own offspring's future security and the source of his income. Yes, of course, if there was a son they would not be destitute as they could remain at Longbourn, but they would be like Charlotte Lucas, a dependent of the head of the family, a liability and a mouth to feed. As soon as Mr. Bennet began to have daughters, he ought to have started saving money to provide them with dowries, instead of hoping to cover it at his own eventual son's and grandchildren's expense.Agneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00047890626000373572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-40447609921489192312018-08-21T12:29:54.624-04:002018-08-21T12:29:54.624-04:00This gave me a lot to think about as well as I nev...This gave me a lot to think about as well as I never thought of Mr. Bennet as being so bad. darcybennetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09402257268742720716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-91668835325326126352018-08-20T17:06:08.822-04:002018-08-20T17:06:08.822-04:00Hrmm...I hadn't really considered Mr. Bennet a...Hrmm...I hadn't really considered Mr. Bennet as cruelly neglectful (as opposed to emotionally absent and distracted from his filial duty). It's hard for me to assign to him the intention of cruelty, but certainly after reading this I feel like I haven't taken into consideration how serious his offenses were. Now that I think of it...are there any good fathers of daughters in Austen's works? Emma's father is dottie and overly indulgent, and then there are absent and deceased fathers...am I missing any good example of one?Beth Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01898921671895123053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-18893313799631265952018-08-20T15:09:57.044-04:002018-08-20T15:09:57.044-04:00LOVED this piece! My mom and sister and I (the cor...LOVED this piece! My mom and sister and I (the core Austen-lovers in our family, though my dad enjoys it more than he admits!) talk about this exact thing quite a bit. I definitely think I have grown harsher towards Mr. Bennet and softer towards his wife (though she still drives me crazy!) as I reread Austen and learn more about the harsh realities of Regency life.<br />For me, it comes down to my belief that laziness or unconcern can cause just as much damage as malicious intent. I enjoy Mr. Bennet's snark and I can relate to his introverted tendencies to vanish into his library rather than deal with some of his more irritating acquaintances, but the fact that on some level he was aware of what his neglect would mean for the futures of his daughters (had they not been VERY lucky) means that I can't seem him as benign or even neutral. He's a smart man; he knew what his actions would likely cause, and even if he didn't know, I think ignorance after a certain point becomes willful blindness, and that's something I can't easily forgive.Wilde Book Gardennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-30709629850707572172018-08-20T13:48:04.220-04:002018-08-20T13:48:04.220-04:00I think I've always looked at that conversatio...I think I've always looked at that conversation slightly differently. 1) from a craft standpoint, I've always seen it as Austen's bit of dramatic irony -- the audience knows more than Mr B here, and it makes the cringe cringier. It also serves to slightly support what Darcy (and Charlotte) said about Jane not being likely to be touched, emotionally, even though Lizzie knows and we know that she is, deeply. If even her own father doesn't see how serious it is... it helps exonerate Bingley a bit.<br />2) I feel like it's pretty standard (cringey) practice to mock young people's romantic feelings. Even still. Adults, and especially parents, seem to look at young people as even younger than they are, and are often dismissive of their emotions, which we consider erratic and dramatic and something that will blow over. This seemed like that, to me.Mistyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11436497955518156688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-81675481417370378212018-08-20T13:44:01.098-04:002018-08-20T13:44:01.098-04:00Really interesting take! This is why I love discus...Really interesting take! This is why I love discussions like this, and doing Austen in August in general -- it leads to new perspectives on nearly everything. Thanks for weighing in!Mistyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11436497955518156688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-33425049679484165702018-08-17T19:39:27.468-04:002018-08-17T19:39:27.468-04:00I agree with you Maria, Mr. Bennet's negligenc...I agree with you Maria, Mr. Bennet's negligence of his duties was not as harmless as Elizabeth was trying to make it, due to her love of her father. I find JAFF variations with Bennet as a ghastly character fully believable. KateBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17143131149053715824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-48241096991086761002018-08-16T02:45:31.105-04:002018-08-16T02:45:31.105-04:00Fascinating conversation. I've always had mixe...Fascinating conversation. I've always had mixed feelings about Mr. Bennet. I like his irreverence, his biting humor, and the fact that he values our Lizzy. However, his neglect of his daughters is pretty inexcusable, especially how willfully and flippantly he ignores Lizzy's well-founded warnings about letting Lydia go to Brighton. <br /><br />But worst of all is how he jokes with Lizzy about Jane's heartbreak. ("Your sister is crossed in love I find. I congratulate her. Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then. It...gives her a sort of distinction among her companions. When is your turn to come? You will hardly bear to be long outdone by Jane...Let Wickham be your man. He is a pleasant fellow, and would jilt you creditably." The fact that Lizzy goes along with it also makes me cringe. ("Thank you, Sir, but a less agreeable man would satisfy me. We must not all expect Jane's good fortune.") Ouch. I think Daddy's a bad influence. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07506157671976391069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2790614306320534072.post-6925061270583646682018-08-15T12:41:15.760-04:002018-08-15T12:41:15.760-04:00Maria, I think I need to send this response partia...Maria, I think I need to send this response partially to you. Mr. Bennet knew after the birth of his fifth daughter that his Last Name was going to be Lost to posterity forever. He lost all interest in his family at that point. If I may be so bold: he had a BREAKDOWN even more devastating than anything Mrs. Bennet could even imagine with all her wailings about her nerves. Remember, husbands had ALL the decision-making powers. He reneged on those leaving them in the hands of Mrs. Bennet. She did not have the proper education of a gentle-woman and did not feel that her daughters needed it, either, since she got herself a husband. Thus, Mrs. Bennet did not feel that they really needed all those languages, art, music, drawing, etc. Elizabeth enjoyed the heavier things that her Father read. Jane is more a blank cipher. Who really knows what she would really have wanted beyond that smile and Candide personality. Mary had the shyness of the middle child, unable to ask for assistance. It is a totally fouled-up family for very unstated but very human reasons -- nothing to laugh at here. Men usually did marry under-educated women as Mr. Bennet did. I do not believe that he ever did want to become what he did; but, extreme mental breakdowns change people profoundly in many ways and those ways possibly to the detriment. It is an American mythos that we labour under that we can some how or other pick our selves up by ourselves up by our own boot straps. That is sometimes not always the case no matter how hard we try. there are 2 reasons why I know this: I am a retired librarian for an academic psychiatric facility and I am a long term sufferer of chronic depression and anxiety disorder. In the late 18th/ early 19th centuries people did not recognize these disorders as being real, thus causing (even fictional characters) more distress. Coping skills deteriorate. Possibly Mr. Bennet's sarcasm was the one last negative coping skill he had left. I still love P&P; but, given all of my experience in life I see so many other levels beyond some of the surfaces.Julia Erganehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04613625453621934834noreply@blogger.com