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Monday, August 31, 2015

Bad Boys & Bitches Redux, part 1: the Bitches | a colorful conversation

As you're probably aware by now, every year I gather some Austen authors together and ask them a series of playful, weird or otherwise BookRat-y questions about Jane Austen. I then take those answers, split them up, and work them into a conversation between all of the authors (and myself), like we're sitting around in a Regency parlor, gabbing.
This year, I wanted to revisit some of my favorite former "colorful" questions, about Austen's bad boys and girls, but with Austen in August readers instead of the featured authors. This is part one of the result. [Find part two here]
I asked:
Which Austen bitch / bad girl (think Isabella Thorpe, Caroline Bingley, Mrs. Reynolds Mrs. Norris, etc) would win in a catfight / bitchfest?
CERI: It really made me giggle that you put Mrs Reynolds as a bitch/bad girl!
MISTY: Haha! *laughs until actual tears come* Oops.
CERI: Maybe she made a bet with the butler against Mr Darcy marrying Anne de Bourgh and wanted to make sure she bigged him up to the ladies :)
MISTY: Someone write this into a fan fic, pls! Haha! But now, to the task at hand: I've tried defending these. . .err, ladies before, but sometimes there's just no defense. So who would win in a claws-out drag-down or an Ice Queen freeze-out?
SOBOTHERSOME: Caroline bingley cuz she would stare at them to death or something!
DEBBIE: I feel like right down to the last few days before Darcy and Lizzie's wedding, she was probably fighting for her non-existent right to mend his pens.
MISTY: Oh, that is the case, with absolutely zero doubt in my mind. And then after the wedding, I'm sure she made as much of a point as possible to prove that she never wanted Darcy, and that he was somehow beneath her, or something. . .
BOOKS & BABBLE: *nods* Caroline Bingley, especially when played by Kelly Riley.
JESSICA: I have to say if it came down to a physical fight it would be Caroline Bingley hands down. I think she would be the most vicious of them all. I can see spitting, biting, hair pulling and eye gouging. She is so that high school mean girl with fake nails and to high opinion of herself. She would act like a over pissed cat and attack with everything she had.
SOPHIA: At first, my mind leaped toward Caro Bingley and Fanny Dashwood, but then on second thought, I saw Mrs. Clay sidling along in the shadows looking for her greedy little opportunity and yep, my money's on that one.
MISTY: Hmm. . . You might have something there, actually. I did say she was a slippery one.
SOPHIA: She'll sucker punch you in the kidneys from behind and you'll have never seen her coming past all that groveling and sneaking about she does.
MISTY: It's scary, how much I can actually see that happening!
BETH: The Cold Fish Bitch Queen of Austen has GOT to be Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Closely followed by Caroline Bingley, simply because she runs hot and cold.
KAYLA: Lady Catherine de Bough would take everyone else down. Except for Lizzie of course ;P
BRANDY: In my mind, Lady Catherine de Bourgh is the original mean girl. She'll set everyone against her foe with so many whispers from all directions that most people will forget she's even the instigator. When she's in the mood, she'll sweep into a room and lock on her target with rapid-fire questions and sudden topic changes to keep that person off-balance, and she relies on her fawning fans to go before her so that everyone will understand her word is law by the time she enters the room.
MISTY: Now there's a truth universally acknowledged. . . By her and everyone she conveniently thinks for, anyway. But if not the Grand Ol' Dame, then. . .?
CERI: Mary Crawford, definitely! She has been in society in London so she's learned the tricks of Town. I can't imagine a man pulling the wool over her eyes so in that respect she beats Isabella. Caroline Bingley is quite often bested in her sniping—
MISTY: That is true. . .
CERI: . . . and I think Mary Crawford would make mincemeat of her. She is also one of Austen's 'bad' characters that I secretly really admire. She is often described as being the bad version of Elizabeth Bennet and there are certainly similarities in wit and intelligence. Elizabeth is my favourite Austen character and these similarities probably explain why I have the soft spot for the Crawfords. Maria Bertram is a nasty piece of work but very naive. Mary would have her in a headlock in no time.
JULIE: Lucy Stelle might not win the actual fight. She would probably disappear halfway through then reappear after the finish, just as all the other ladies are recovering, in some fashionable way to try and show them up. (Hopefully they would join forces to take her down).
MISTY: I could see her being scrappy. AND she'd have her sister to drag into the mix -- tag team!
VERONIKA: Augusta Elton: Nobody could win against her, coz she'd be too self centered to realise there's even a fight going on. Or, she would bore everyone to death by telling them how best to fight.
MISTY: Haha! That's true, too! Well, now I don't know what to think. Let us know YOUR thoughts in the comments!



MANY THANKS TO:
Beth W
Books and Babble
Brandy
Ceri at Babblings of a Bookworm
Debbie
Jessica Bolton (bookrockgoddess)
Julie H
Kayla
SOBOTHERSOME
Sophia Rose
Veronika

Click here to return to the Austen in August Main Page

4 comments:

  1. Oh man, I have the gigglesnorts. I think splitting up the remarks and moving them about made for some high hilarity, here. Ceri's in touch with her inner bad girl, Mary Crawford and I think she sold me on that one.

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  2. This post conjures up some interesting visions, Steele sisters tag teaming and Mary Crawford's headlocking skills. We didn't mention Fanny Dashwood. She's a sly one, I can see her trying to sabotage safety gear behind the scenes, an unfair fighter. We could have multiple age ranges too, could have Mrs Norris against Lady C :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "could have Mrs Norris against Lady C"
      OoOoOo....good matchup! Both are sly, cruel, condescending and apparently hate poor young women. Mr. Collins would totally jump in and sucker-punch Mrs. Norris on behalf of Lady C, though. I mean, Norris could borrow her sister's pug, but Mr. Collins is the bigger of the two lapdogs.

      Delete
  3. Ahahahaha! I love it! Brandy and Veronika's answers are priceless. And spot on!

    ReplyDelete

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